short stories

Further proof that our kitten is dumb – Max caught on real quick that the bathroom is not a place anyone wants to be. Maya, on the other hand, is fascinated by water, and she thinks it’s a fun time to hop up on the toilet seat and watch it flush. She’s going to fall in one day, and you know what? That’s probably not even going to phase her. She’ll forget and be right back at it in two minutes. She also repeatedly walks into the shower while it’s on, along the back ledge of the tub. Unless she gets a full-on splash, she’ll just stand there, STARING and twitching her fur from the mist.


I realized today that I have been laying around with the cats for over a week.  Yesterday I was so tired I decided to read in bed. I woke up four hours later, with a cat under each hand.  I did approximately two other things all day – the unavoidable cat maintenance chores, and making dinner.  But that was the sum and total of my productivity.  While I strongly encourage everyone to have a non-day every once in a while, as it is good for the soul, this current sloth-fest cannot go on much longer.  I have company coming in a week and a half, and while I don’t need it to be spotless exactly, it would be nice to exorcise the filth-demons lingering in all the corners.  If the Goodwill piles don’t make it out the door in time… well, at least they’re not growing anything.


A few months ago, my glasses were so floppy-ass they kept falling off my head any time I leaned over. You’d think I’d get sick of fishing them out of the trash, but no. I wore them until they fell on the floor in a dark room, and I stepped on them trying to find the light switch. Fortunately, I’d gotten one of those “two pairs for $70” deals, so I had backup. Those were so tight they clung to my skull like some kind of an alien creature trying to suck out my brain. So I dug out the backup backup glasses, which I wore in college until the protective coating got leprosy. I discovered it really wasn’t too hard to flake that crap off, and now I’m digging the compliments on my “90s glasses.”

But even so, we have insurance, and I may as well get a new non-leprous pair. Therefore, today’s itinerary includes a trip to the eye doctor.  My hope is that he has something throwback like this, for all the above reasons, and since I also think the current style of tiny lenses screws with my peripheral vision.



ten years of style- a dontfeedthetiki eyewear retrospective


Speaking of being trapped in the 90s, can I tell you how excited I am for fall?  I understand you summer-junkies might not like it, but it’s my favorite season.  Baking again is nice, and Halloween is awesome, but I think the best part is the return of sleeve-weather.  I own hardly any summer clothes, but I have sacks full of hoodies and sweater things, and scruffy jeans and cargo pants, and long sleeved shirts that go under t-shirts.  I even bought myself a very cool flannel on the last Goodwill run, since none of my originals really fit me anymore.  I also have my eye out for some replacement shoes.  I have owned a pair like this for at least 15 years now, and my current ones are gross and decrepit.  They’re not going to last another wet season, anyway.

You know, at this rate, I think I’m becoming a one-person movement dedicated to bringing back grunge.  And I’m OK with that.

“I’m not gonna do what everyone thinks I’m gonna do and… FLIP OUT, man… all I wanna know is one thing… who’s coming with me?”

-dontfeedthetiki (can’t resist following a dude named Brian, somehow)

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